Ode to a Renter

Trigger warning

Ode to a Renter

I have a lot of fears as a renter.

I am afraid to be alone waiting for roommates to come home. I am afraid of the noise upstairs or the other room.

I am afraid of getting in a fight. I don’t like yelling, loud noises hurt.

I am afraid of getting into a potential altercation and my property getting damaged because of it.

I am afraid of having to leave too soon.

I am afraid of a roommate leaving and the rest of us having to quickly find a new person to move in.

I am afraid of not getting a renewed lease.

I am afraid of being judged, I am afraid of judging them.

I am afraid of the deadly, black mold being ignored.

I am afraid of being raped… and the perpetrator being ignored. Living in the same building for 3 months, watching him from the windows, praying we never take the elevator together.

I am afraid of being kicked out. Or having to leave because of a dangerous situation.

I am afraid of having to live in my car and couch surfing again.

I am afraid of friends as roommates never talking to me again, once I move.

I am afraid of being stalked around my home.

I am afraid of being molested in my apartment.

I am afraid of being molested, taken advantage of, or raped in someone else’s apartment

I am afraid of being in a bad situation because of being car/no car homeless

I am afraid of landlords taking advantage of my roommates because they aren’t American citizens.

I am afraid I will never feel at home in any place I stay.

But I am sure I have come a long.

I am afraid that even in good or decent living situations, I am haunted by the past.

I am afraid of the past never letting me fall asleep.

One day I will fully function in a place I can call home, now of later,

at last.

~~~~~~~

Sweet dreams to all those who can. Sweet lives to all that can.

Sweet shelter to all that do and do not have.

 

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